Dreaming about a better life? If so, you are not alone!
According to a recent study, the average Briton spends an hour and 50 minutes a day dreaming about the life they want – and it’s very different from the life they are currently living! In fact, according to the study, a whopping 76 per cent of us daydream on a daily basis about the way our lives could have turned out, with a further 78 per cent revealing they are not living the life they truly want.
The study of 2,000 British adults found that 57 percent of us dream about being super-rich, while 30 percent would love that dream house. Twenty eight percent would like a better body, 20 percent secretly dream about life with a different partner and 26 percent of us would love to leave the UK and start afresh in another country.
When it comes to jobs, we appear to be a nation deeply dissatisfied and far from living our purpose as the study revealed that a mere 10% of us feel happy in our roles. In terms of dream jobs, men fantasise about being a rock star or Premier League footballer while women dream of being an air hostess, fashion designer or lawyer.
So, why are we as a nation so discontent with our current lives and what exactly can we do about it?
Well, first of all let me start by saying that dreaming is good. It’s healthy to have aspirations and to want to make positive changes to our lives. Dreaming of a better future and having something to work towards is certainly important to our happiness and well-being. However, when the gap between where we are now and where we want to be is too wide and we really don’t know how we can change things or even believe that the change will ever happen, then feelings of discontent can set in. We can start to envy the lives of others and end up feeling stuck in a rut, with each day endlessly rolling into another with no light at the end of the tunnel.
So, what can we do to bridge the gap between our dreams and reality?
1. Decide what it is that you truly want
When so many people desire to be super rich, it is often because they assume obtaining this dream will make them happy. However, before we set about going after our dreams or making significant changes to our lives, it is a good idea to first understand exactly why we want it and then decide if this dream is something that would really and truly make us happy.
So, to help us to find the answer to this question, it is a good idea to brainstorm exactly what happiness means to us. If we start by thinking of a time in our lives when we were truly happy, it will give us an idea about what is truly important to us and whether pursuing a dream is going to leave us with increased or decreased levels of happiness in our lives. For instance, when we hear about the lives of the super-rich, are they all super happy? Alternatively, are people with more modest means all struggling with feelings of discontent?
2. Take an audit of your current reality
The next step to improving the quality of our lives is to take a good look at our current reality. You can do this through the simple exercise called the Wheel of Life. Here you divide your life up into sections to include areas such as home environment, finance, social life, hobbies/interests, family life, love life, and self-development.
You then rate out of 10 how fulfilled you are in each area. This will give you an idea of where your life it out of balance and which areas you need to change to increase the quality of your life.
3. Set some Goals
When you can more clearly see which areas of your life need most attention, you can begin to set some goals.
So, what exactly is a goal? Well, a goal is a dream with a date. Dreaming is one thing but unless you make it tangible and time specific, it will remain just that – a dream. However, goals need to feel achievable, but also challenging, if they are going to feel exciting to you. Feeling this excitement is important in order to increase your levels of motivation towards achieving it. Then, putting a date to when you want to achieve your goal will allow you to measure your progress along the way. After all, there is saying that ‘what gets measured gets done!’
4. Put together an Action Plan
It is one thing deciding what you want and setting some exciting goals but you then need to take some action. Sometimes a goal that seems exiting and ambitious might seem a bit daunting which can then lead to procrastination. However, if you break down the process into small manageable steps then it is much easier to get started.
5. Keep up the Momentum
Once you start taking action towards your goals and see real results, it creates a natural momentum. However, it is important to keep a record of your successes and to celebrate them by rewarding yourself for your achievements.
6. Develop resilience
Usually when we set goals and take action, we will meet obstacles that can dent our motivation which leads to us to feeling dejected. It is at these moments that it feels easy to give up. When this happens, remembering exactly why we want the goal in the first place and reminding ourselves of what will happen if we don’t achieve our goals can help counteract these negative feelings and replace them with a natural motivation to succeed.
If any of these six steps seem a bit daunting or you have tried and failed in the past to keep the momentum going when setting goals then becoming accountable to someone other than yourself can help. This is where hiring a Life Coach can prove invaluable in order to have that constant support when the going gets tough. After all, you will find that no one believes in you more than your very own Coach!
What are your dreams and what were your experiences in the past with setting goals? Please let me know in the comments section as I would love your feed-back.
If you would like to find out more about setting goals and how to create a step-by-step plan to achieve your dreams, click here to check out my latest book Serendipity’s Secret: a novel way to achieve your dreams.
With very best wishes,
Your personal coach for Happiness, Confidence and Success